Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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