I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
