So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
