mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize