Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
