Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
