i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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