Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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