I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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