He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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