It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
