Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
