i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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