I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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