Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
