I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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