Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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