The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
