Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
