If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
love makes seman taste better
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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