he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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