Kiss
Puke
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
They took my balls.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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