I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
