im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
