First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
