he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize