Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
