apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
