Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
