Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
