Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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