bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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