lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
