is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
