maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
