this just has baby written all over it
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I understand Curling. That high.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
