don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
