going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
