Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
