I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
