well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
