Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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