I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
