If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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