we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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