He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
