Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
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