I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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