I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize
