So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Found your dick twin last night
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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