He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
