i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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