How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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