3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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