do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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