how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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