Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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