My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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