don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
