my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
