Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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