dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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