do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
