Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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