The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
